In the preparation of this gathering among the four of us who hosted it – Ria, Judy, Nina and myself – we were in constant conversation, clocking up no less than ten 90-minute conference calls. Our enquiry very soon focused on the nature of radiance and how we could better consciously embody it in our lives.
During a number of our calls, there was quite some turbulence in reaching clarity about whether or not it was appropriate to invite in our daughters.
Over several calls, we sat with this question, with one or other of us feeling resistance, confusion, pain. We unearthed quite a few previously unexamined assumptions that needing to be carefully teased out and sensed into:
- Having the younger generation present will be an obstacle to going deep
- Women cannot be fully themselves while their daughters are present
- Daughters can’t be elders
- Daughters can’t move the edge as well as mature women can
- What if the daughters are our edge?
In the end, the whole knot came undone when our own wounding came to light. We uncovered ways in which our own natural radiance had been inhibited as very small girls, and how – rather than pass that particular burden unconsciously down to our own daughters, we had made different choices and left them space to shine and unfold as who they naturally are.
We evoked the generational strands – of complexity, of love, of wounding, of mixed messages, of projection, of control, of jealously – that have passed from mother to daughter, down through the eons, and that is all now in the feminine field. As the nexus between the past and future generations, we understood our opportunity, now, to release a knot, a ball of the pain of grief and misunderstanding and fear, that is holding us back from the radiance and exuberance of the Feminine. Unless we can release the pain, we cannot be available for either radiance or intensity – be it pain or joy.
As we placed our faith in the process and in each other’s witnessing, our experience confirmed – again – that if you just stay present in the circle, sooner or later that which needs to be released will be released.